Screaming Infidelities...

Why is it that on the one day that's supposed to be special to you, the one day that's supposed to be a celebration of your existence, you're the one person that matters least to everyone? I hate birthdays (well at least when I'm the one that's having one)! I really didn't expect to do anything for my birthday and that was totally fine by me. I've avoided having any kind of party for the last two years and I figured a third year of the same wouldn't hurt. Well me mom decided to throw me a "surprise party" yesterday (08/18/2001). It ended up being a lot of fun I was very pleased. However today, I felt shunned and unimportant. My friends just bitched and moaned about how they wasted their weekend here at my house instead of going to Sac. to see a friend that's moving to Israel for a year. The same friend that is coming down to the bay area for a few days and want's to hang out with us while she's in the area. Needless to say, it kind of put a downer on my day. The only gift that I got this year was from Dave (thanks a lot man!), he gave the a Commin' Correct CD that I didn't have yet. I really hate to complain this much because I'm really not much of a complainer unless I'm whining about getting hurt and I do that more or less so that I can show off whatever battle wound I happen to have at the time. I guess another part of this B-day sadness is that someone that is special to me is sad and I can't do anything to help because they need to work it out on their own...I think that I may move to Hawaii sooner than planned just because I need to get out of my house and spread my wings a bit. I got a speeding ticket on friday night it sucked. We almost got caught by the cops painting on friday night too but we were to crafty for them (run away, run away). I think that my parent's are going take me out to dinner tomorrow night, that would be really nice to just go out with them and spend some quality time together because we haven't done that in quite some time. My dad is really intimidating, he scares me. Everytime he tells me that he wants to talk to me or asks if I have a minute I always get nervous as if I was in big trouble. The funny thing about all of that is that I haven't done anything bad...I saw American Pie 2 tonight. It was sooooooooooooooo funny. I loved it. I drew a neato piece today for next weekend. I'm broke, oh well.We Climbed Chaos We Turned Time. Come a little closer so I can hear music again. Compose for me a dream made by eyes and lips. Make melodies with the wind blowing in your hair. I feel vulnerable - Barefeet. This emotional mess we've made - Broken Glass. I feel pain - Bleeding. xLUNEx XXX death before dishonor XXX