Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Lost in forever....
Hmmm, I feel dirty today...I stayed up sooooo late last night because I was talking to a friend that needed my help...help, something that I used to be good at giving and doing, but not anymore...my heart constantly feels like it's being broken over and over and over....I had trouble working today. because I was so tired...I am continually in a state of tiredness I need to sleep more but I don't, I think that it's because I'm neglegent when it comes to taking care of my own person...I wish that I could love and feel loved the way that I used to but instead I am lost in a nothingness that never ends, but never began...I've been feeling violent these days to, like I want to kill somebody for no reason and that scares me that I would even think about it...I need to get back to serving God instead of myself....myself, thats all I care about these days and I hate myself, see there I go again only worrying about my own person instead of others, I need to die to myself...If I die, to myself, then and only then can I move forward and make progress...to forge ahead and experience new lands is what I desire...I also desire to spread the Word of God and do everything that I can to see others come to Christ...lost in forever, thats where I am today, in forever...
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Hey Micah i have been thinking.....how long have we been friends?way way way long and its funny cuase i think we are best friends but we just dont conider eachother best friends.you know your good friends when you can just drive in a car and not say anything but have a fun time.i myself have been sick of myself and i have a desire to do whats right again.im 18 finally and i should be at my high point with God,but instead i am almost at my lowest point.this last week in ventura i learned alot and i have actually had a change of heart.i totally desire to get a scene going and to get the gospel out there to all the kids.i just think that if you and i do something together that it wont fall apart becuase of our friendship.its you you and i forever esay.
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