Love...nothing but a second hand emotion

It's been a couple of day's since I have written. I apologize for my last entry, I was quite angry and bitter when I wrote it. I had just been kicked out of my house, but that situation has been resolved and all is well. I miss this girl that I know, she's really special to me. I always feel complete when I am around her and that's a very rare thing for me. I guess what I really want is to feel that way all the time but that's not possible do to some events that have happened in the past. I will never be able to have a normal relationship because of those events and I hate the person(s) that did it to me. If I could find that person/people that ruined me I would dig their eyes out with my fingers. I am so full of rage these days that I am afraid of what will happen if I blow up on someone. Enough about my anger problems though. Today as I was driving home I almost got in an accident, it would have really sucked to because the wreck would have been my fault. Oh well, I gave someone a really bad scare but escaped unharmed. My heart is yearning for that special someone to show up one day so that I can get married. I really want to get married,even though I am 18 definitely could not support my family all that well yet, i really want to get married.
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